A few days back, Vee and I were having a relaxing conversation. This is an interesting excerpt:
Vee: Mummy, I want you to have 1 boy, 1 girl, 1 boy, 1 girl, 1 boy, 1 girl…
Mummy: Oh, we can only have 1 more baby. Our car has only 1 seat left.
Vee: We can get an MPV. Then can have 1 boy, 1 girl, 1 boy, 1 girl, 1 boy, 1 girl…
Mummy: We’re sticking with the car. You can buy an MPV for yourself when you grow up. You’d also need to find a lady before you can have your own children.
Vee: Yes, when I grow up, I want to buy an MPV. I also need to work hard and earn more money so that I can buy a lady.
Mummy: Huh? Buy a lady? You’d need to FIND a lady, like how Daddy found Mummy.
Vee: No, Daddy bought Mummy. And I’m going to have 71 offices. Each office will have a very long capsule lift and sell cheesecake.
Mummy: Wow, you’re going to have 71 shops to sell cheesecakes?
Vee: No, each building with my office will have a cheesecake shop. I’m going to do a lot of work.
Mummy: So after you finish your work, you’ll come home to have dinner with Mummy?
Vee: No, Mummy, I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll have A LOT of work to do.
Mummy: It’s still important to have dinner. I’ll cook for you. Learn to manage your time well and come home for dinner, ok?
My thoughts after the conversation
It’s hard to describe my feelings after this conversation. Suddenly, it seems that my 3 years 7 months old son has grown up so much. At this age, he already has some ideas about what his future may be like.
He has formed interesting perspectives about the world around him. Seriously, I’ve no idea how he came to think that hubby BOUGHT me.
His ideas about his future are also very much influenced by the things he enjoys and his role models at home. Not coming home for dinner due to work? Is it because Daddy has done that often enough? (Though I think it isn’t that often.)
Again, I’m reminded how important it is to nurture him at this impressionable age. Everything we (as his parents) do and say is shaping his perspectives about the world.
From Shichida’s Parent Education Course, I’ve learnt to give children a positive impression of working life. Avoid saying work is stressful, complaining about work, being frustrated with work, etc. in front of them. It’ll simply let them think that working life is full of stress!
Instead, show a positive attitude towards work. Be enthusiastic. If Mummy is staying at home, don’t grumble about Daddy’s work. Say encouraging words about how important Daddy’s work is in contributing to the world. This will make him look forward to working and contributing too.
From Karen Tyler’s Montessori course, I’ve learnt to teach children the importance of doing work. Choosing materials to work with, continuing until the working period is over, putting in good effort, etc. are all setting a solid foundation for their future personal and working life.
Finally, I’m glad that Vee and I have time for meaningful conversations regularly. At least in our situation, homeschooling frees up time spent getting out of the house and travelling on the road twice a day. Frankly, if I’ve to send Vee to school with Baby Jae tagging along, and trying to figure out KL’s traffic with my cannot-make-it sense of direction, I’d be a very stressed Mummy.
Having the time for such conversations opens up Vee’s world to me. It’s just like how teaching him baby sign language opened up his world to me before he could talk. I understand him better. And if needed, I can guide him towards the right path.
I hope to be someone he can confide comfortably in, even when he grows up. If he faces problems or stress in his life, I hope he’d share his thoughts and feelings with me instead of only sharing with similar-age peers who may lack the wisdom to provide sound advice. That is, until he finds his lady…
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4 thoughts on “What I learnt from a meaningful conversation with Vee”
It’s funny the perceptions of a child sometimes… I find that even though hubby is home “early” by the standards of today’s working life, my son has developed the idea that “daddy is hardly home because of work”. And I suppose for him it is true because Daddy goes to work in the morning but comes home from work hours after my son is home from school.
I remember as a child that time seemed to pass so slowly and as I grew up, it was as if time started speeding up. My endless Summer holidays felt like they were getting shorter and shorter when in reality it was still the same as ever. The days that seem to run on forever were starting to whizz by.
And since your boys sleep early, there’s less time together with Daddy?
The best thing about student life is indeed school holidays! I used to make up for my sleep by sleeping from 2a.m. to 5p.m. during vacation. It’s crazy how I could sleep THAT much. And my mum only needed to prepare dinner for me, ha! I called that my hibernation period.
Haha! Its a cool conversation with a 3 year old 😀 I wonder how much my son would have learnt in the next 1.5 years and I’m so looking forward to having “conversations” with him 🙂 Right now, he always answers the option thats the last (meaning “Yes or No?” would get him to say No, similarly “No or Yes?” would get him to say Yes).
Ha… that sounds like a phase toddlers go through! 🙂